Everything leaves scars

Everything leaves scars….

Today I spent all my day in the bed, sweating. Tea, some video based entertainment. Getting my batteries recharged. At the end of the day, I was sitting in the toilet, looking at my hands and all the scars they have. Some were old, some were new. From a relative with the scissors up till surgeon with the scalpel. From my own pocket knife to the hot pasta or oven edge here in France. Some of them not accounted for- forgotten or never realized…

Maybe the event will get forgotten, but the scare will rest there. Maybe not every action has a counteraction, but every action leaves some traces. And they will surface sooner or later. Lot of thoughts for a person to have just by looking at his own hands…

Lately one quote from Elementary (S02E09 at the end) caught my eye:

H: I’ve given further consideration to your rebuke regarding my capacity for niceness.

W: I didn’t mean it as a rebuke. I was trying to have a conversation.

H: Either way. You have a point. There is unquestionably a certain social utility to being polite. To maintaining an awareness of other people’s sensitivities. To exhibiting all the traits that might commonly be grouped under the heading “nice.”

W: Hmm. I think you’ll be surprised how easy it is to earn that designation.

H: No. I am not a nice man. It’s important that you understand that. It’s going to save you a great deal of time and effort. There is not a warmer, kinder me waiting to be coaxed out into the light. I am acerbic. I can be cruel. It’s who I am. Right to the bottom. I’m neither proud of this, nor ashamed of it. It simply is. And in my work, my nature has been an advantage far more often than it has been a hindrance. I’m not gonna change.

W: You have. You’re not the same person I met a year and a half ago. You’re…

H: Good to you? Yeah. For the most part. I consider you to be… exceptional. So I make an exceptional effort to accommodate you. But you must accept that, for as long as you choose to be in my life, there will occasionally be fallout from my behavior. That must be a part of our understanding.

W: No one can accept something like that forever.

H: To thine own self, Watson.

There is just something in it that doesn’t let me pass by it…